Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
