I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my shit smells like andre
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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