You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
