i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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