I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
