I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
