I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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