He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
