are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
