This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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