i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
