I heard we made out
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i dont even know how to be here
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
