Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
