just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
