what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
