Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
