Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
