You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
