Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
