He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
