I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
