I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I forget how to act sober
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
