Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
why is half of my head shaved?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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