you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
