I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
