that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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