So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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