i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
