Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
