I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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