I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
