hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
