Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The Olympian is in my bed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
