just come out here and I will go home with you...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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