Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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