therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
