No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
