You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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