They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
