At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
