We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
