Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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