I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
