my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
