eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
