My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
