I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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