My first STD was from a foam party
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
either way he was missing a nipple.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
