Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
my poor anus
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
