you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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