thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Semen is not good for contacts.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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