maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
they're like a gay fantastic four
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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