Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
