I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
