tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
